When Family History is a Painful Portion of Life

Family History

If you have ever been pained by portions of your bloodline, this Genealogy4u blog is for you.

Not many family histories are picture-perfect. Not many fill themselves in quickly and cleanly. If you are one of the many whose family does not fit the mold, know that you are in good company.

Family history can be painful for various reasons, and we would be remiss if we did not acknowledge that many of our loyal blog readers are in that particular situation.

Some things you might encounter include:

Foster care and adoption

If it was you, a parent, or someone farther back in your family tree, the presence of an adoption or a child who never left the foster care system can bring up bad memories for some and create holes in their family trees that they don’t know how to fill.

Family estrangement

There are many reasons why a person could become estranged from their family. Whatever the reason, it is never pleasant. Because of estrangement in different areas of your family tree, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to get additional information about your family.


Religion is an important part of many people’s lives, but it can lead to family turmoil.


A tough obstacle for anyone to get through when doing family history, infidelity can cause rifts in any family. These issues can cause genealogy to be a sore subject to all those affected.


Similar to infidelity, divorce can rupture family links. No matter who is at fault or what caused the rift to form, divorce can cause feelings of animosity for any party involved. If divorce is followed by either party being re-married, then further complications can arise in relationships, and it can be difficult to know how best to approach this new branch in your family tree.

Early death

While early death won’t necessarily cause drama in your family tree, it can make it difficult to expand your family tree if you or someone else did not talk to that person before their death about their family history. Take it from someone who knows, every time you see that name in your tree, the wound opens a little bit.

Abuse or violence

Family history can be difficult for anyone, but for someone who was the victim of familial abuse or violence—emotional, sexual, or physical—family history can be next to impossible. This can be compounded if there is a family history of abuse. When a victim of violence or abuse does their genealogy, it can bring back painful memories and make it difficult to have a positive genealogy experience.


War has torn through families for generations upon generations. War can decimate branches in your tree, tear through relationships and families, and, depending on how history falls at the end of the war, can cause lasting ramifications in your family tree. War has been an issue around the globe throughout history. Odds are you have many ancestors in your tree that have fought on all sides.

Why geneology4u?

At geneology4u, we understand that there is no such thing as the perfect family. Each of us faces our unique challenges and situations. What we do know, however, is that we can face these challenges better with the support of family and friends. Thus the family is really important in all aspects and we are really lucky to be part of a family tree.

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